Recently I posted a Book Review of Jessia Dilullo Herrin’s book “Find Your Extraordinary” promised a follow-up editorial about what this book personally gave to me. This post is that reflection.
This is a longer and very personal piece. My hope is that by sharing how this book intersected with my own life, you might reflect on what “extraordinary” means for you, too.
What Does “Extraordinary” Mean?
The word extraordinary is often used casually, but Herrin challenges readers to think more intentionally about what it means to live beyond the expected or prescribed version of life.
What struck me most was the idea that extraordinary is not about status or recognition, but about ownership. Ownership of your choices, your time, and your direction. That distinction shaped how I read the rest of the book and how I reflected on my own path.
The Entrepreneurial Spirit
Early in the book, Herrin talks about entrepreneurship not just as a business pursuit, but as a mindset rooted in self-determination. She writes that the entrepreneurial spirit is about “anyone who wants to take charge of his or her own life.”
That sentiment resonated deeply with me.
I grew up in an entrepreneurial family and saw firsthand how empowering it can be to choose your own path. Watching my parents build lives around flexibility and purpose showed me that fulfillment often comes from autonomy, not conformity.
Later in the book, Herrin discusses money not as a symbol of things, but as a tool for freedom and choice. That perspective mirrors my own experience. For me, building a business has always been about creating options and taking responsibility for my future.
A Positive Mind-Set
Another theme that stayed with me was the importance of mindset. Herrin acknowledges that optimism does not come naturally to everyone, but reminds readers that perspective is something we can actively work on.
As she puts it, “Some of us were born with a glass-half-full mentality, and some of us aren’t, but all of us have the ability to shift into a positive mind-set.”
I have always tried to look for the silver lining, even in difficult situations. That does not mean ignoring hardship or pretending everything is fine. It means choosing persistence over resignation.
One quote that stood out to me was, “If the option to quit is eliminated, persistence is the default.” That idea reinforced something I have felt for a long time: growth happens when quitting is no longer the escape hatch.
Being Told to Be “Ordinary”
I remember very clearly being told as a teenager that no matter what I dreamed of, I would likely end up ordinary. That moment stayed with me, not because it discouraged me, but because it clarified what I didn’t want.
Ordinary was never the goal.
Throughout my life and especially since starting Styled to Sparkle, I have faced criticism and skepticism. Random negativity is easy to brush off, but doubt from people close to you can be painful.
Herrin addresses this directly when she notes that being at risk of failure often means you are operating at the right level of challenge. She writes that “being an occasional loser at something is actually a good thing,” because it signals growth rather than stagnation.
That perspective helped me reframe criticism as part of the process, not a verdict on my worth or ability.
Choosing Who You Listen To
One of the most practical lessons in the book is about being intentional with influence. Herrin emphasizes that the people we surround ourselves with can either support our growth or quietly undermine it.
She reminds readers that consciously choosing positive, encouraging relationships dramatically increases the likelihood of building a fulfilling life.
This has been very true for me.
Over time, I have learned to be selective about who I share my dreams and plans with. Some people genuinely want to celebrate your growth. Others, often unintentionally, project their own fears onto your choices.
That realization changed how I protect my energy and where I seek encouragement.
Letting Go of Guilt and Expectations
One of the most impactful sections of the book addresses guilt, particularly guilt shaped by generational or societal expectations placed on women.
Herrin challenges the idea that success means doing everything and pleasing everyone. She writes that regret and guilt are among the most futile emotions, especially when they stem from trying to meet standards that no longer fit our lives.
This message hit home for me.
Working from home, building a digital business, and choosing a non-traditional career path can be confusing or unsettling to older generations. I have learned that respecting those perspectives does not require living according to them.
Letting go of guilt has been difficult, but it has also been freeing. As Herrin notes, being extraordinary is not about doing it all, but about doing what truly matters to you, without apology.
Enjoying the Journey
Am I exactly where I want to be yet? No. But I genuinely love where I am in the journey.
This book reinforced the idea that meaningful progress is rarely instant. As Herrin writes, the harder you work, the more opportunities tend to appear. Success is not about luck falling into your lap, but about consistent effort and learning along the way.
I have explored many careers and roles throughout my life. Each one taught me something valuable, even if it was not meant to be permanent. They were all stepping stones toward the work I am doing now.
Final Thoughts
I have never taken the safest or most traditional path, and I likely never will. I am grateful to share my life with someone who understands that mindset and supports the pursuit of something more meaningful than simply playing it safe.
Finding your extraordinary is not about comparison or perfection. It is about intention, courage, and alignment with what truly matters to you.
That journey looks different for everyone, and that is exactly what makes it extraordinary.
Fair Use Disclosure
This post discusses themes from “Find Your Extraordinary” by Jessica Herrin. Brief excerpts are included solely for purposes of commentary, reflection, and review.
